In ancient times a builder could form a stone arch with no mortar by slowly rounding the stones in at the top. Its success was dependent upon a single stone set at the 12:00 position, called the keystone. YOU are that keystone. When you selfishly choose to cave you rip the keystone from the arch and cause it to collapse. We are part of the arch. Your failure harms those that support you.
I want to scream at you for giving up and shaking the foundation of the solid quits around you. You are a virus that infects the minds of your brother and sister quitters. If you can casually fail and restart, why can’t I ? The addicts voice leaks into my head because you opened a crack in the door. I want to rage against you for chipping away at the strength in the quits around you. I hope you come back and fight again to free yourself from the chains of this addiction, but I cannot forget your weakness. I will struggle to support you further because you have torn apart the bond of accountability and endangered us all.
For those that read this and are quit,
I implore you to not just rage against the cavers in our midst, but to strengthen your own quits. EVERY DAY you must increase your own accountability. Some of us create accountability by dishing out massive attacks on the weaknesses of others. How could I possibly cave when I have referred to so many failures as weaklings and cowards and worse, I would be crucified. Those that I have cut with merciless truth and anger wait for me should I fail. My E-mail and Phone number are for all including those who would take pleasure in returning to me some tough love. Everyone must know I quit and everyone must be in a position to tell me how my failure affects them. I cannot fail because I have woven a web of accountability around myself. I provide support each day as best I can, often with a PM or text other times in the forum or chat. I know there are quitters who I am a keystone for. I cannot fail because I would harm their quits. I carry but a few numbers in my phone but have offered and given mine out always . This makes me accountable to support those people. If I caved and they have my number and call me for support, how could I possibly help them? I cannot cave because I care about these strangers, and I refuse to endanger their freedom from nicotine thru my own weakness.
The accountability needs to be nurtured off the site as well. Your family, friends, must all know the depth of your fight. I have shown ODT’s cancer surgery to my kids, I have told them how hard it was for me to stop, I have told everyone I lied to or hid my addiction from that I was a sniveling lying chew sucking nic fiend. I have let loose the truth upon everyone in my life. I am now accountable to them as well. I cannot cave because I refuse to look into my wife’s, childrens, eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. .
Strengthen your quit, weave your web of accountability, be an unbreakable keystone, support in your own way, rage or hand hold, just stay quit. You’re fighting for your very life, this is real and not a game.