2020 HOF Speeches

100 Days and Counting – Something a Little Different

LurkerMany use their HOF speeches to describe their journey to day 100.  I want to do something a little different.  I want to speak specifically to the lurkers out there who have not signed up with KTC yet but are thinking about it.  Maybe nicotine is whispering in your ear that now is not the time.  Maybe fear is holding you back.  You know you should quit tobacco.  You know it is potentially deadly.  But every time you think about quitting, there’s always a reason to put that quit date off.  Or maybe you decide that the best plan is to taper your usage off for a few weeks to a point where you can quit completely.  Or maybe you think that you can quit using some form of nicotine-based substitute, like gum or whatever.  Then when you actually quit, it lasts a couple of days and you rationalize some reason to start back.  Or you decide to take just one dip to take the edge off.  Because after all, since you’ve been quit for a couple of days, you are pissed at the world, snapping everyone’s head off, and can’t get taking that one dip out of your mind.

Does any of this sound familiar?  That’s because I’ve been where you are right now.  I dipped for 40 solid years with very little quit time in between.  I started dipping when a can of Copenhagen cost $.60.  I told myself I was going to quit if it ever went to $1.00, then $2.00, then $3.00….  Nicotine is very sneaky.  It lets you think that you should quit but provides a counter argument every time a line in the sand is crossed.  I’ve read at least 20 times on this site that the birth of a child was going to be the line in the sand for quitting.  Every single person that said that continued dipping well after that child was born.  I did the same thing.  My child is now 14 years old.  Nicotine, like every other additive drug, has made a liar out of every one of us.  Every time you’ve said you were going to quit and haven’t, you’ve lied, whether that’s to those you love or to yourself.  But it’s OK.  All addicts are liars and believe me, you’re an addict.

As I’ve said, I’ve quit several times but even as I was not dipping, I always knew it was temporary.  I knew that I would eventually pick it back up.  Knowing that was the only thing that made quitting by myself bearable.  I would quit for a month or two, prove to myself that I didn’t have a problem, start dipping again because I was in control.  I’ve played all the mind games with myself but the one constant was that I always went back to dipping which is the one thing I knew I shouldn’t be doing.  Again, the sneakiness of nicotine.

I’m writing this to you in the hope that something will break through the denial and ring true to you.  You can quit and it won’t be the end of the world.  It will suck and it will suck badly.  But that’s only temporary.  If you can make it through the first 2 weeks, you’ve gotten all the poison out of your system and you NEVER have to go through that 2 weeks again.  The real key to being successful in your quit is the support you will get from this site.  Everyone here knows exactly what you will be experiencing and they know how they got through it and can impart that knowledge to you.  I cannot overstate the importance of being accountable to someone other than your family.  You know that your family will love you no matter what, even if you lie to them.  KTC will kick your ass to keep you in line.  That’s the one thing that I did differently this quit that was missing all the other times.  If you believe in what KTC is doing and live by the rules, you will remain nicotine free.  Post your promise each day and don’t be a liar.  You do those two things 100% of the time and you CAN NOT fail, guaranteed.

One of the other rationalizations that I’ve used is that my dipping is no one else’s business.  It only affects me.  Unlike when someone smokes and forces those around them to breath it in, like on a public sidewalk or outside of a public building, dipping doesn’t affect those around me.  This was especially true for me since I was a swallower.  I never spit on sidewalks or whatever.  But again, this was a lie.  I was most assuredly shortening my life.  That eventuality profoundly affects those that you love.  They are the ones who will be left to mourn after you have died a horrible death from mouth or stomach cancer.

I’m 101 days and counting.  This is in the top 5 for best decisions I’ve made in my entire life.  I want to be around to see my daughter get married and maybe even see grandkids someday.

I urge you to take the leap.  There’s really nothing to fear and so much to gain.

dladd

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member dladd

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