Well, I’ll start by saying I’m not really great at speeches, I just can’t seem to find the right words to say. But I’ve had a little over week to ponder on this and I finally have the time so here goes:
I started dipping when I was 15. Probably like a lot of you started, a friend offered me his cn and said “Try it, it’s pretty good”. My best friend in fact. It was Cope WG, I still remember my first time. It’s been a long road slowly going downhill since. It started as a social thing; I’d only dip at parties or when a buddy did. Then I started getting ahold of my own cans so I could do it at home. But, you know I was “never addicted”. It was a hobby, I told people, I do it when I want. I started working at 17, and that was what really reinforced it. Instead of 1 or 2 pinches a day, it was now a can a day. On the way to work, after work, with work friends, on the way home, when I woke up. I still never saw it as an issue. It was always something I just enjoyed in my mind. And the more people I met who dip, the more I started hanging out with people who dip, which just made me do it more. I made a few attempts to quit for a week here and there, never successful. I even stopped for 3-4 months once, for a girl I was dating. The night we broke up, my dumbass went and bought a can. I started having issues with my gums quite a while ago now. I kept ignoring it, but I knew what was causing it. My gums were receeding worse than they ever had, they were red and inflamed, and bleeding every time I brushed my teeth. It got to the point where it would hurt a lot to take a dip so I changed spots. It wasn’t helping much. It came to me one night when looking at my mouth in the bathroom mirror, wondering how much worse it was going to get, wondering why my friends who dip don’t have these problems, what am I doing wrong et cetera. And I realized I have the fucking choice. I can make the choice to stop instead of subjecting myself to something so stupid and possibly causing irreparable damage to my teeth and gums. I realized I would have to force myself to make the choice to quit, or live with consequences of choosing to let nicotine keeps its teeth in me. No one but me.
I started searching online for a some tips on quitting, and then I found KTC. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was still a very active forum. I browsed for a week to see what it was about, reading HOF speeches. I thought it would be perfect for me so I joined. I took my last pinch that night, and the amount of pain it caused my gums really set it in stone for me. This is a stupid fucking habit and it’s time to stand up and quit. I posted roll the next morning. I thought it was silly at first how adamant everyone was at first. But I slowly realized over time why it was. Nicotine is a strong drug and it takes strong support to kick it. Every time I wanted to cave, I thought of my brothers and sisters in May. I know they all had moments as well. I know the craves hit them and they dealt with the fog just the same. I couldn’t help but think of my y’all who had been dipping for 20+ years, and realized if they can quit, so can I.
I never would have made it on my own. There’s no way. My gums are healing, I have much less mouth pain now. I’m not living in fear of when I will lose my first tooth from dipping. I’m saving money on not buying jaw dirt, and BEST of all, I don’t have nicotine controlling my lifestyle, telling me to take the long way home, telling me to find a spitter, telling me that I “need” it. Life without nicotine is a better life to live. I still have a long battle to fight, I get craves here and there, but they’re becoming increasingly rare. So I thank all of you on KTC, I thank those who created the site to help dippers, I thank the vets who come to our quit groups with wisdom for all of us, and I thank all of my brothers and sisters, the Mighty Maysters. Drama aside, we all came together here by choice to help each other, and it’s just awesome. I will continue posting roll as long as I need, because I know that a roll post always equals a dip free day.