I took my time in writing my HoF speech not so much because of laziness, but more because I didn’t believe I have really ‘earned’ that status in my mind yet. After having been subject to the addictive qualities of nicotine for 35+ years, I felt that after 365 days would be appropriate to prove that the quit is indeed strong and true.
I don’t blame anyone or anything for my 35 years of weakness – I am solely responsible for my actions and I (and only I) had the power to decide to quit at any time. I don’t blame friends who got me started at age 16, big tobacco, job stress, life’s trying moments, or anything or anyone else. It was my choice (albeit a stupid one at that) and my decision to do this a long as I did.
Over the years I told myself ‘tomorrow’ is a good day to quit – such major events as starting a new job, getting married, having children, and having my sons ask you why do you put that in your mouth, etc.
However, on April 13th, 2014, I decided it was time. It was not anything special, no milestone, key date or anything – it was just time to quit. Believe it or not – it was my Lenten promise to give it up so I thought the Monday of Holy Week would be a good time to follow through on my promise.
So, knowing I would fail if I did this on my own, I found KTC. Through the help of the great articles on the site and the outstanding veteran supporters who help guide you through the 7-21 day fog, shakes, withdrawals and doubts, I have changed my life forever forward. No need for artificial help – patch, gum, hypnosis (yep – $1200 to head down that path) was required – just strong willpower and belief in yourself and the system.
I am amazed at how many of fellow July 2014 quit brothers (and to my surprise since joining this site – sisters) have fallen off the system and caved. However – I am equally amazed at how many are still hanging tough and staying strong. I may not have the time to log on to the system as often as others, but I do make an effort to log on every damn day and am proud of the 100% badge of commitment. I know some are very involved in chats, support and activities – and I thank them for that. I try to do as much as I can – and I hope that it is enough – even if it saves just 1 person from caving.
I also try to adopt and bring someone through the first 100 days. I would hope that I have succeeded (FMBM, Luke7, Sajax, BigHeadDogtheMonster) and others from pulling you off the ledge. Stay strong and remember I at least deserve is a phone call or text if you are about to cave or have issues.
I am sure the next year progresses, we will lose a few more July 2014 brothers to the everyday posting, but I hope we never lose them to the nic-bitch again. However – I plan on remaining true to my commitment and posting every damn day. Why – it takes maybe 30-60 seconds to post and serves as a reminder that I cannot succeed without the help of my brothers. Plus, I am only fooling myself if I think I am “cured”. My next area of focus is to drop the f’ing 20 lbs I have put on over the last year. Hopefully I can be as successful with that as I have been with this. One step at a time.