2011 HOF Speeches

Evdog Speech

evdog1919 avatarI don’t say much on this site but I did want to try to attempt a HOF speech. It will really just be a rambling mess of words that most people will stop reading half-way through but I don’t really care… I have a similar story to many others on here, but I think I also have some differences.

I’ve been amazed at the similarities of how people got to this site. Googling for smokeless tobacco alternatives. That’s how I got here. I dipped Kodiak for give or take 22 years. I quit ten times at least. In my twenties, my quit would mean I buy a pack of marlboros instead of the Bear. Later, I would try nicorette and sunflower seeds. The last several years I just said “Fuck It, I’m wasting my time trying to quit.”

I did not dip the way a lot of other people here did. It took me 2-3 days to go through a can. See, I would keep a dip in for 1-2 hours at a time. Sitting through meetings in a conference room, often times I wouldn’t even have a spitter my dip would be so dry. I would take 6 dips a day but have dip in for 10 hours or so a day (When I got to the office, late morning, after lunch, late afternoon, after dinner and after everyone goes to bed at night) My last couple of years I would go like clockwork every other Monday to Costco and buy my log of dip.

Anyways, as the new year was approaching I knew I had to stop for good. My wife had pretty much given up on me quitting. I would not blatantly dip in front of her or my kids but she obviously knew I was still doing it (dip between my yellow teeth kind of gave it away). I didn’t even bother telling her I was quitting at first because she wouldn’t have believed me anyway. I knew though that I couldn’t half-ass my quit. I needed to find something that could get me past that first big hump. Gum and seeds weren’t cutting it. So I learned about Smokey Mountain and Hooch and the other alternatives from this site. Then I saw the message boards.

The problem was I couldn’t find any of the alternatives around town. I must have tried 10 places looking for Smokey Mountain. At the 10th spot, I bought a can of Kodiak instead. So much for being ready. Fast Forward 2 days, I found some Smokey, threw out my dip and posted Day 1. Only problem was I also chewed some Nicorette Gum. See, my best friend since Kindergarten (32 years ago) quit dipping last year. he chewed gum for a couple days then used fake stuff. I followed his lead but didn’t realize the no-nicotine pledge on this site. so I apologized here, told everyone I would see them in a couple days, chewed my gum and posted Day 1 January 8, 2011.

The first week was definitely tough but it was made easier for me by 2 things.
1. this was my quit. I wasn’t quitting because other people were telling me. I was doing it for me.
2. The fake dip. Just the habit of packing the can, grabbing a pinch and throwing it in my mouth is to me the toughest thing about quitting. The fake stuff allowed me to overcome my greatest obstacle.Like everyone I was worried about a new addiction to the fake stuff. And like everyone else I have greatly reduced my consumption of the stuff to a can every 2 weeks.

The producers are giving me the “wrap it up” hand signal now so here are my closing thoughts:

– Quit for yourself, no one else.

– Fake dip really helped

– Ignore the assholes on this site. There are several posters that love to rabble rouse. In my younger days I would have challenged them but now I realize it’s exactly what they want and at the end of the day the facts are I’m just as quit as they are (Today), I have a bigger dick, a hotter wife, and cuter and smarter kids than they do so fuck-em

– In spite of the assholes, posting roll on this site is the best reminder that there are lots of other people in very similar situations as you are. Read what they post. Contact others in your group. It is interesting reading the posts on the site. I am a pretty liberal, laid back guy and this site has a strong military presence and a lot of Type A people that are hardcore with their quits. I personally can’t immerse myself in the site like they do. The best quote I read on here was (paraphrased) “Take from this site what you want to and ignore the rest.”

– TeachTy’s avatar gave me incentive to come post every morning. That GIF is what dreams are made of

– Quinn really pissed me off by finally figuring out how to post roll the week of his HOF induction.

Finally, the conclusion:
This has been and extremely stressful 2011 for Evdog. My self-employed ass is not getting much work at all. Cashed out retirement, asked the in-laws for help, picked up a night and weekend job at a home improvement store. Meanwhile, my wife is getting her nursing degree and my 13, 10 and 6 year olds all need to be at different places at different times every day of the fucking week. If I can quit dipping after 22 years while all the other shit in my life is caving in on me then you have absolutely no excuse to not quit right now.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member evdog1919

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