Excuses

Day 62 – Excuses

One of the incongruences that my quit has brought to light is my propensity to make excuses. I have found that people will argue for their limitations and make excuses to justify their total pussiness and I am no exception. I used to like to make excuses as to why I couldn’t do something, whether that something was in my business, my marriage, or my quit.

I used to argue with myself for years about how I was going to quit right after I did “fill in the blank”. I mean, I can’t count the number of times that I would tell myself that I was going to quit right after the weekend, because I was going fishing and I wanted to dip the entire time I was fishing… Then I was done, I would quit. Or I’m going to quit right after my next camping trip, because there was no way I could go camping without a dip. The reality is, it didn’t matter what the activity was, I would make up some bullshit excuse as to why I couldn’t quit that day, but I certainly could quit right after said activity.

My point is that I would make up excuses and then argue and rationalize so that it was truth. The sad thing is, if I break down the word rationalize, it becomes rational – lies. That is exactly what I would do to myself. Make up what I thought were rational lies about why I was going to quit as soon as “fill in the blank” happens.

I took my final dip on Thursday February 4th 2010, I considered Friday the 5th my day 1. That was my first day without nicotine in over 22 years. Since that day I have turned the incongruences of making excuses to the benefit of my life and health.

I now make excuses as to why I WILL NOT dip, why I must stay quit, why I must have truth, honesty and full disclosure in all of my relationships, I make excuses as to why I MUST post roll every day, excuses as to why I have to keep my daily PROMISE. Excuses as to why I must protect my integrity.

The only thing that really matters in my life is the relationships that I have with people. The quality of those relationships boils down to the integrity of my word. It takes a lifetime to develop integrity and a moment to destroy it, just ask Tiger Woods.

Since the day I joined KTC on February 8th 2010 I have never missed a roll call. Not a single one. I refuse to make an excuse that will allow me to miss the opportunity to share my promise with my community of quit brothers and sisters. Integrity is all we have here, there is no way I will forsake that, there is no way I will make an excuse to cave.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member sensei