I have been chewing/dipping since the 7th/ 8th grade (26 years). Started with Beechnut and Redman from a Junior High football coach. See then chewing and dipping was glamorized by a lot of people commercials and athletes, so I thought of it as tough and macho! In high school, I got more involved in sports and I was dipping Skoal daily. Then Skoal long cut came out and I was hooked on it. Playing sports and in the locker rooms, there was always plenty of dip before and after practice. During college it was pretty much the same, sports and dipping went along together with everything, in the training room, dipping was social, snuff was readily available to all and most everyone did it or at least tried it. It was a part of my life now!
After college, I worked and always hid my dipping because of my job. I trained myself not to spit. So I would walk around all day, dip unnoticed and would spit when I had to. I befriended a tobacco salesman. He would always give me a roll of Kodiak! I was still dipping Skoal longcut till that point. After having like 6 rolls in the frig of the ‘bear”, I said I would buy no more until I finished dipping those logs. I was hooked on Kodiak by then and it was worse on my gums and lip than anything, they were constantly bleeding. Now it was a can or 2 cans daily.
Joining the Army; dip was glamorized once again like when I played sports. We dipped to stay awake, during training, on missions, day and night. I didn’t have to hide it now, so I dipped more and more, couple of cans a day. It got to the point; if I was awake I had a dip in. After different things in life, I decided to quit and quit cold turkey for 6 months. But after dealing with life problems, anger, frustration, marriage going bad, and a terminally ill son, I broke. I caved!!! With all this in my going on in my life I started back dipping, this time Copenhagen. Surprising it wasn’t as bad on my mouth, but the bad effects were still ever present. Again, if I was awake, I had a dip in, even times I would fall asleep with the shit in and wake up choking! There were always “dip buddies” in the Army, it was socially accepted. Dipping was a part of every facet of my life!
So over the last 16 years in the Army, everything in my life has involved dipping in one way or the other. If it was the proper setting, I was dipping, if not I was hiding it and dipping anyway. Deploying all over the world and to war in OIF 1, one damn thing for sure was I always made sure I would not run out of Copenhagen. My duffle bag to Iraq, I had 20 rolls (20x10x $5.00= $1,000.00/1K) of dip in it. Didn’t know how long it would take to get the mail going, so I made sure, I had enough. Didn’t share neither!!! Failed marriages, deployments, changes in life, watching my Son go thru so much pain and eventually pass away, OIF 1 and watching my Father get to 90 lbs from the affects of lung cancer and then passing away. Dip was always a part of life. After affects of all these years, I felt as though I needed dip and it was my only real vice, except the occasional drink or few beers. Dip got me through a lot, up to this point!!! Dip was always there. Dip got me thru life!!! Everything I did required a dip before, a dip during, or a dip after!!! The NASTY NICOTINE BITCH has been with me for all these years, through thick and thin; killing me slowly, having me believe I needed it!!! BULLSHIT!!! THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!!! I didn’t and don’t need that SHIT!!!
Where I am at now?!?!? June 2007 and I am struggling with a lot of personal and work related issues. Some health issues, nothing bad just related to my diet. Some mental shit too. Just LIFE!!! So I make the decision to STOP, QUIT, WEEN myself off that “shit”. Hard decision!! RIGHT DECISION!!! This has been one of the hardest damn things I have ever been thru!!! I didn’t and don’t need DIP ANYMORE… NO ONE GETS IT!?!?! I search for support?!?! I find it HERE @ QSX!!! One thing for sure, everyone on this SITE GETS IT!!! Finally some understanding!!! “Flush the last of that SHIT in that can and QUIT!!! Don’t’ wait!!! QUIT NOW!!!” (ODT and QT) That was JUNE 14, 2007… I may not know a lot of you personally, but we are brothers and sisters. I may not post a lot, but reading your post gets me through on a lot of bad days!!! Chewie, FranP, 48, WD, 2MC, MLS and especially Loot, ODT and QT (ALL you VETS) reading your post makes my day and gets me thru my quit. The Posting and the Accountability in my group (Sep 07) HD, Chief, Spot, RedT, NVC and all, keeps me quit!!! I like keeping up with the OCT and NOV groups too. Everyone keeps me going and motivates me on a daily basis with my QUIT!!! I admire ODT beyond words, because he is true testament, he is special brother and I appreciate him! I would not be here on this site without QT (QuittinTime), he led me here. Like all of you, words can’t express my love for friends and family and their support. QUIT is QUIT!!! I AM QUIT!!! We QUIT for ourselves and STAY QUIT for ourselves, but just as important we STAY QUIT and KEEP QUIT for everyone on this site, plus our families, friends and loved ones. You all are truly great people and I look forward to seeing how my “family” is doing daily. Thanks for my QUIT and your part in keeping me QUIT!!! I am QUIT NOW and I will be TOMORROW!!! That is where I am!!!
Ray (day 54 thoughts)