2011 HOF Speeches

Goodbye Mr. Skoal

KillTheCan LogoDear Mr. Skoal

You have always been a friend to me. In my times of struggle you have comforted me. You have always been there when I needed you to keep me focused, calm, and on track to finish. I believed you when you told me that without you I couldn’t make it through the day. When I was a young outcast you took me in and told me that I was cool. One little pinch and I immediately felt better about being me. That little rush you gave me hooked me. Man you even had the surgeon general conned. While he was telling everyone that smoking would cause cancer and a myriad of other problem what did he put on you? “This product may cause tooth decay.” Just like candy, but candy that made everything seem better. But then I found someone new. Someone I thought made my world better too. I tried so many times to tell you that she is more important to me that you are, but by this time I found that you had moved from friend and comforter to wicked task master.

You would not be supplanted from my life. When I tried to leave you all I could think about was you. Every time I gave you up for even a day, there you where with that little rush to make it all feel better. Even cancer couldn’t scare me away. I thought for a while that I was dealing with that I could finally free myself from your tangled vines. But then the doctors all said it probably wasn’t you that had given me cancer in the first place. Maybe they’re right and maybe not, but I don’t want a round two because something strange happened then. Did you hear it? That Tick tock of my life disappearing getting faster and louder every day I spent with you.

Now I’m 100 days removed from you. I’ve heard you calling me. I’ve wanted to see if that little rush was still there. But I can’t now, because something new is happening that has absolutely nothing to do with you. I have been able to stay focused, calm and on task without you. I am learning that days are made up of minutes and months are made up from days, and years are made of from months. I will avoid you minute by minutes until there are days then years without you. Can you hear that now? That tick tock is getting slower and softer in the background. Even as it quiets down so too does the voice you held me captive with for so many years. Now I can tell you that she is more important to me than you are and I don’t even care if you are listening anymore.

You don’t have to listen to me anymore, but others will. I have and will continue to share the gospel of a life without you in it is better that I thought it would be. I will be a support and help anyone who is trying to run away from you too.

Your Ex-puppet on a string

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Joe.Warren

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