100 days… I’ve reached the end of my training period. That’s really what the first 100 days is. I have equipped myself with several things along this journey that I am now able to skillfully use the rest of my life fighting the enemy, nicotine, that we have chosen to remain free from today.
I have gained knowledge. I now see nicotine for what it is. It is a demon that seeks to enslave and destroy those within its grasp. On the surface it can appear to be beautiful and enticing. Scratch the surface and you will see the ugliness that is masked just beneath. I understand now what it does to the body and mind and how it works tirelessly to deceive us. Long, long after the physical withdrawals subside, the mental games that accompany an addiction continue…”Just one taste…for old time’s sake…”
However…I have developed a focus…cultivated a mindset. I know the enemy is lurking in the shadows at all times. It cannot surprise me if I am aware of its presence. In the past I thought ignoring it or running from it was the answer. On the contrary, success is achieved daily by facing it head on. It cannot entice or trick me into coming back if I recognize that its intentions are to only harm me with absolutely no benefits in return… I see it for what it is.
Therefore…I have developed hatred and anger towards nicotine. Before joining KTC, I either loved it or feared it…either way, I was a slave. These incorrect feelings kept me in its clutches with no hope for escape. It was easy for nicotine to steer me towards those emotions when I was trying to face it alone (or not face it at all).
So…I have developed relationships for support and accountability. This required time and effort. I did this by getting involved at KTC. From the beginning, I spent time on the forum and posted comments when I felt like I could contribute. I was one of the people in our group who has kept up with our attendance spreadsheet (SSOA). These things helped me form bonds with others going through the same thing as me. I learned to care about others’ quits too…which amazingly strengthened my own quit and continues to strengthen it every single day! We come from different walks of life, but we are fighting the same battle.
In the process…I have tested my word. The times I attempted to quit on my own, I swore each time I was done. Inevitably, I lied to myself and ultimately failed… but I’m a pretty forgiving guy, especially when it comes to myself. On the contrary, when you give your word to others, the stakes are raised. Your true character is revealed.
Using all of this…I now have a plan and the tools to execute it. More accurately, I have bought in to the plan that has worked for thousands here at KTC. I have humbled myself and been observant. I came here to change myself, not change the site. I have poured everything into being a good group member, helping build cohesion and structure, and investing whatever I have into the quit of those around me. What a roller coaster of emotions the last 100 days has been!
On my own, my best attempt to quit in 31 years lasted 5 days. With KTC, I have amassed 100 quit days, gained quitting knowledge, learned how/where to focus with the proper emotions, built wonderful friendships, and strengthened my character. I have also learned several new cuss words and the appropriate circumstances in which to use them. All of this leaves me with two thoughts:
1. I am proud to quit with all of you today.
2. God willing, I will see you %@*!# quitters back here tomorrow!