I want to start by thanking all the July 2020 GAGers without whom I could not have successfully managed to maintain my quit. Additionally, I want to thank Ankape and AwakenedOne who both took me under their wings from day one and showed me the ropes indoctrinating me into the culture of KTC.
Upon first joining this site, I was a nicotine user of 4 or 5 years… had dabbled with trying to quit and unsuccessfully tried to set aside the can. What I was missing was personal accountability. Through all of the connections that you make here on KTC, you develop bonds with other that will help hold you accountable. THIS is not enough in itself to keep you quit. You must acknowledge that, at the end of the day, YOU are the only one that can choose to quit and YOU are the only one that can choose to remain quit. You must quit for yourself and no one else otherwise your addict brain will convince you to justify away just one more pinch.
I still have dip dreams, I still get shifty eyes when I go up to pay at c-stores, I still crave a lip every now and again when I have a particularly busy day. The difference is, I now understand that I have the power to say no, I have the power to walk away, it is MY choice and no one else’s. I will not allow myself to be enslaved by the can again and I will remain vigilant. As beautiful as the glory of 100 days quit feels, I cannot let it become more than just another day quit. Life as a quitter, an addict, will be my identity forever and acknowledging that is necessary to remain free from the chains of nicotine addiction.
Thank you KTC for all of the support and lessons that you have taught me. Perseverance, dedication, humility. The first step in fighting and beating the nic bitch is realizing that you cannot do it alone. I have grown not only as a quitter but also a man.