2022 HOF Speeches

100 Days with the MoMs on Discord


Anxiety is a Beast!

I knew about KTC for a while, have been at the site before. This time when I quit, I really did not have a reason just the fact that at my age it was time to start taking better care of myself and my teeth, which definitely included no more nicotine in any form.

I started my quit on my own, going to the dentist because of a broken back molar and got a deep cleaning. Things were going well until I was about three weeks in chewing tons of gum, drinking 6 cups of coffee a day, chewing cinnamon toothpicks and bam the anxiety hit like a freight train. I had totally replaced my nicotine addiction with coffee, gum, toothpicks, candy and combined with some other medicine I was taking, bad diarrhea took over for like 2 weeks. The mind was racing all the time. I was wicked dehydrated, my tongue swole up, I got some white patches on the sides, some small things were healing under it, and my mouth was dry as a desert. I had no idea what normal was after 30 years of dip and nicotine gum. During this time, we went out to eat sushi and I swear the wasabi set my tongue on fire for two weeks and my bowels into a rumbling mess for that long also. Coupled with the anxiety, I thought I would never recover, never feel the same. The anxiety creating a sense of impending doom every waking minute was damn near crippling. The Beast was consuming me, even though the Dentist told me everything looked good in my mouth. A week into this anxiety ridden rollercoaster I joined KTC on Discord.

I consider this single decision one of the best decisions I have ever made, period. The comradery and wealth of knowledge of the members has been nothing short of life saving, and I mean this. One of our members, nick-Otine free shared with me a concoction consisting of lots of water, probiotics, B12, C and Ashwagandha. A week later I added a multi vitamin for men over 50 also. It took about a week to a week and a half, but the anxiety began to fade. I also quit coffee for several weeks, not just coffee but all forms of caffeine after chatting with dadof3. I have been back to the Dentist, the clinic and finally my general practitioner who gave me the “all clear” right around day 85.This is also some good advice from KTC, go to your Dentist or Doctor as often as you need to, to get your mind and body in sink with your goals. One of the first times I was told my mouth and throat looked good, I shed a tear of relief right then and there and don’t care who knows about it. The addiction is real, the Beast is real, the Nic Bitch is real and after 30 years it has been a fight to get to this point, but my KTC comrades have had my back all the way and what an awesome feeling that is.

One last story for you all. One night during the 3- or 4-week anxiety period, I had this dream that I kept turning to my left seeing this shadowy figure moving to my left very quickly and I could not get a good look at it no matter how hard I tried. When I woke, I told my girl about this crazy dream, and she said yeah, I yelled at some shadow or something about 2:30 in the morning to get the f out. I looked at her like that’s some bullshit you’re pulling my leg, she said she was dead serious, I let it go and have never spoke about it again. Make sure you are sharing with your family, they got your back and want to see you healthy and safe, they will assist you in this fight also!

As the body and mind are healing and resetting the anxiety is slowly moving to the back of my mind, the Beast has been calmed, and the Nic Bitch has been driven back, for now! I am still going easy on the caffeine and running the concoction every morning though; I like it and do not plan on stopping anytime soon. We haven’t been back for Sushi either, not sure how long I can hold out on that though! Might have to celebrate 100 this Friday night! 😊

Keep Fighting and Keep Up Roll Call – QFL!!!

GiGawatt (Brad) – May 2022 – With the MoM’s Forever!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan community member GiGawatt

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