2010 HOF Speeches

A Long Overdue Quit

klark avatarMy story is like many of the others here, I started with dip many years ago at the age of 16 while playing baseball. Our coach got us all to try it, many of us getting sick the first time. It’s odd now, but he was our 3rd base coach and used it as a reward when we got there. I was a casual user for a few years, not really becoming and everyday user until I was about 22. It started mainly in the car, then sitting around the house, to eventually everywhere. I was in my mid 20’s when I started dipping at work, in an office. I always told myself I would quit, every milestone birthday, maybe when I got married, maybe when my kids were born. Everytime I thought about it though I would think well I can’t do “X” without it so maybe after that. It was a never ending struggle that I would always find a reason why not to. My wife bugged me but never all the time, she knew she could not make me. I had stopped going to the dentist about 6 years ago, dip was fully ingrained in just about everything I did. I was not about to be belittled or told stories and made excuses why I did not need to go. Every part of my day was planned as, how much dip can I keep in my mouth without spitting? Meetings, get togthers, everything was done with the thought of how much or how long will it be before I can get another.

My quit stared in October 2009, early in the month I lost an entire tooth. It was a tooth that had a root canal that was very old. I know dipping was not the main reason I lost it but I am sure it had a part in it. What I thought was a cap that came off my tooth was , to my surprise, cap, tooth, and post. I was in a panic, what would I do? I have no dentist and I don’t want to hear it about my habit. I called a friend who is a dentist and took care of me right away. I went to the oral surgeon who told me I had to not use for a week after the surgery. About 5 days before surgery I stepped back and started thinking, if you are going to quit for a week why strart back up? It was such a part of my life at that point I did not think I could do it especially since someone told me I had to. At this point I made this “my quit”. A day before surgery was the last one I would have, I threw it all out. I changed everything so I would not think about dip or give myself the opportunity to associate with it. I struggled through much of the first month but made it through. I think there is a moment in everyone’s quit when you say “You can do this, stop being an idiot”. On day 48 I lost a friend to Ovarian Cancer, 40 year old mother of two who fought bravely for 8 years. I was always amazed at how she fought, all the way until the end. I posted roll that day and mentioned it, and the support I received was incredible. It was here when I thought, you really are thinking of going back? I could not imagine how horrible it was to watch a friend go through something she did not ask for, and I am still thinking of putting something in my mouth that will cause it? I knew at this point, I will always be an addict and I will have to be aware of that every day. I looked at how fortunate I truly am, why try to screw it up by dipping.

There are so many people to thank for helping me along the way but there are some I believe who need a special call out.

My wife Kristi: She put up with me as I fought the demon, she stayed supportive when I am sure it would have been easy to say stop being a schmuck. I love you.

Dr. Lenihan (Dentist) & Dr. Robinson (Oral Surgeon), you never belittled me and always offered encouragement with my quit. I was never a patient until this happened but you treated me like your only patient. I can never say thanks enough times.

iuchewie, Ready, TCOPE: The first three to welcome me here and offer encouragement. I could always count on a well timed message of encouragement.

JpCrew, Plasma, Rawaldem, Redtrain, MXD: Quite possibly the best chat group ever. You have helped me through many a days, the thought of caving and feeling the rage of this group? No thanks.

mikeA, Colton, Greg40, Greg 5280, SamCat, TR, snowboredm: You guys are everywhere helping people in your own way whether through anger, drunkeness, whatever. Thanks for the support you give everyday.

GoBlue: Thanks for buying me lunch on my HOF day. It meant a ton to meet a fellow quitter on a big day. Thanks.

January 2010: To those who have fought through and listened to spot and I go at it almost everyday for the last 4 weeks: post roll everyday. I will always check and see who is there, send you texts, personal messages, whatever it takes to be sure we all stay quit. Thanks for being there for the first 100 and many more after that.

If you are thinking of quitting and reading this, these are names of real people who want to help you quit this nasty habit. They will stop what they are doing day or night to keep that crap out of your lip. You don’t have to worry about tomorrow, quit today and that’s all. We can repeat what we learned tomorrow.

One last thing, I had a plan to dip again, two weeks into my quit. I was on this site for 9 days and I was out of town. By that point I had felt so much accountability to not just my family and myself but to a bunch of people on this site who I would be letting down if I did and I could not let that happen. If you truly want to quit, this is where you need to be.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member klark

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