HERE’S What Dipping Did For Me

xxzpatriotzxx avatarWell its been a hundred and eleven days now, wanted to take some time to reflect upon this adventure so far before attempting to leave some advice for future quitters. As many of you may know, I am a caver who came back and drank the kool aide a few months later. I remember validating my cave in May 16′ by saying “I needed dip to focus me in” and that “Dip allowed me to do my job as an EMT.” I thought dip was the answer to all of life’s problems. Angry? pack a lip. Sad? pack a lip. Celebrating? pack a lip. Taking a shower at 5AM after a day on the boo boo bus? pack a lip. 5 hours into an all-night Call of Duty ass kicking session with my friends and already chewed 3/4th of a tin since starting? pack a lip. Hanging out with buddies? pack a lip. Didn’t matter what I was doing, pack a lip was always a priority, always something to do. I thought it did something for me. I thought it made me focused or gave me an edge. I thought it was making me stronger. And then I realized dipping wasn’t doing any of that. Dipping was keeping me me. I had to rely on a tuna can full of cat shit just to make me feel up to the day. That without a dip every couple hours, I was slowly fading out, turning into someone I wasn’t. And then I met her. She motivated me to be the best I can be, still does, and always had my back when I wanted to give in. I knew I could of bought a tin anytime I wanted after I quit and she’d never know about it (considering I ninja-dipped), yet for some reason I felt like the guilt would cripple me. A hundred and eleven days ago I dumped a fresh tin down the toilet and embraced the suck every day ever since. It’s been hard, probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But oh my god is it worth it. Being able to walk past a seven eleven and not have to whisper my dip order to the cashier so the shame wouldn’t drown me. Being able to go into that seven eleven, grab a drink and a snack or whatever, and not even think about asking for a tin. Being able to look at my girl and not have to worry about letting her down if she ever found out, or feeling like a sack of shit for hiding shit from her, or ruining her life someday in the future because I loved dip more then her.

If you’re reading this and you’re trying to decide if you should stop loving dip more then yourself, your friends, and your family, let me tell you what dipping did for me in only 4 years of chewing.

Ironically enough, after ninja dipping and dreading the dentist every time I went, the first dentist appointment I have after my quit, the lady tells me I’ve got some pretty decent gum recession and thinks she should measure it to make sure it’s not getting any worse. In my lower gums, where I used to hold my dip, I’ve got less than a millimeter of gum tissue left between my tooth and my jaw. They prescribed me some special toothpaste thats got fluoride in it that I have to use once a day before bed, and that either way, theres a good chance I may lose some teeth because theres not a whole lot of tissue left there.
Thats what dip did for me.

When I was younger my parents put me in braces. I spent 4 years hating my life coz of them. They used to cut me up and hurt like hell, and my best friend growing up had just started dipping so I wanted to dip too naturally. I couldn’t wait to get out of the braces so I could be cool and dip like them. $7.5 thousand dollars my parents spent on my teeth, and here I am 5 years later after having them taken off being told I’m at risk to lose them straight teeth they paid all that money for.
Thats what dip did for me.

My aunt is pretty well off, gave me and all my 8 cousins $5,000 dollars each for graduating high school, to go towards college. Shoulda lasted me all 4 years, but my ass needed dip, and the shit wasn’t cheap in the city. I spent 5 thousand dollars on Copenhagen, until I was like oh shit i’m low on money, and started buying Grizzly. I blew 5 grand in one year, probably 80% of that at least, if not more, went straight into my lip.
Thats what dip did for me.

The buzz, the false senses of security, and strength. Something to “help” me to feel “normal” every day just to secretly kill me. The cool factor, the ‘brotherhood’ i felt with my fellow dippers, yet hiding away in fear of someone i cared about learning of my addiction. Making me hate myself for what I did.
Thats what dip did for me.

KTC is full of people coming from all different walks of life, jobs, zip codes, and experiences, yet if you ask any one of these guys, we all got one thing in common. We all tried it without KTC, it failed, and quitting’s the hardest thing we’ve ever done. KTC can get you through it, as long as you drink the kool aide, and be willing to invest yourself in not only your quit, but your brothers and sisters quits as well. We can’t do this alone.

Patriot – Day 111 QLF WITH ALL YOU BADASS MOTHER FUCKING TOBACCO QUITTERS OUT THERE!!!

And finally, as typical of speeches, shout outs to all the following (if I missed you PM me and tell me why)
Traumagnet
WalterWhite
Palpatine
Aaron2012
Harvestgirl
Nosnil22
CMARK
Dieselchick
ChickDip
All of my fellow January League of Extraordinary Quitters!!

Honorable mentions to the groups / folks that I raged on instead of my family:
February 17 Cult of Quit aka the fucker-uppers of roll
– Matt
– CollegeStudent
March 17 Madhouse of Mayhem
– All of you (no offense, my family appreciates it)

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member xxzpatriotzxx

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