As I write this I’m on day 182. Why didn’t I write it sooner following my day 100? Writer’s block is a good part of it. I simply didn’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said thousands of times over. Plus, those in my group that have already written their HOF Speech (as well as many before us and since) knocked it out of the park. They have set the bar high and I wanted to attempt to get to it.
Also, in 30 years of dipping I had never made it longer than 30 days quit (and that was just 1 time). You see the occasional person return with a Day 1 that had been in the hundreds if not the thousands of days quit. One hundred seemed like such a small number knowing that the battle will be there for as long as I am alive to fight it.
Finally, I haven’t been the most vocal or active person in my group, let alone the site. I guess to some extent I didn’t feel like I had earned the right to post an HOF Speech. Often times when I have participated it has been to stand against what I felt were angry, disrespectful tactics used by a few veterans in our group. Those tactics, of course, were simply their way of trying to kick our group’s ass into gear.
While I still don’t personally agree with some of the tactics used, I came to realize it was coming from a good place. Just because I don’t respond to those tactics doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what others need to hear. Different strokes for different folks as they say.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve seen along the way is to take what you need and leave the rest. That is, of course, after you have posted your promise early each day, one day at a time (or as you come to see, ODAAT, EDD). Another common thing you’ll come across is WPP – Wake, Piss, Post. Posting your promise should be one of the first things you do. You are promising not to use nicotine that day. If you post late, you are simply providing a status update. You never held yourself accountable for the day. You are simply letting people know you made it through another one.
This is about accountability and keeping your word. Share your number with others in your group and before long you will build relationships with people who have your back. Get theirs too. Reach out to those people when you need it. Respond to others in their time of need. If you make your promise early and are a man or woman of your word, you can’t fail, and you’ll have people there to pick you up during the tough times.
Quitting isn’t easy, but you will be glad you did. This site, the tools it offers, and the relationships you build make it less difficult than it is when going it alone. You will be with people in your group who are along the same general timeline in their quit as you. You’ll share a lot of the same ups and downs with people that can relate to what you are going through. That and the accountability are the secrets to the success this site has – in my opinion.
Hats off to the April 2016 group and many thanks for helping me get here. I look forward to many more + 1’s with you.
For the person reading this, if you haven’t already, all you have left to do now is toss whatever nicotine delivery method you have in the garbage, find your quit group, and post your day count. The rest will take care of itself if you let it.