I stopped one last time before I quit. A few days before my quit, I threw my can in the trash and rode my bike for a couple hours to think about something other than dip. It lasted a day. And then, somehow, when I did the same thing a few days later, it somehow just stuck.
That’s what I told myself for a while. “This time I got it right. I’m stronger this time. Now I’m really quit!” The truth is, the reason I quit in the first place was that I was going in for surgery in a week and I couldn’t have any tobacco/nicotine in my system. So I knew I had to be at least three days dip-free. The other factor was that I was on summer break. I’m in my last year of college, and I spent the summer working in a office. Not much stress, not much urge to dip = I stayed clean.
When I came to KTC I was somewhere around 50 days quit and pretty pleased with myself. I thought I was already a bad ass quitter and it would just be an extra tool in my belt. Moreover, I thought now that it had been two months, quitting would be easy. I joined KTC on a particularly shitty day, and I think I was looking for people to make it all better for me. Instead, they taught me that quitting is hard work. Quitting is posting roll EDD. Quitting is reaching out to new members, texting fellow quitters, asking veterans for help. Quitting is an active lifestyle: you have to choose to quit every day. This is what took me the longest to understand — it’s a job, and a f’ing hard one at that.
So this is my HOF advice: your quit group is there for support. They’re there to help answer questions, let you know you’re not alone, and give you a kick in the ass when you deserve it. But ultimately, this is your quit. It’s your responsibility. Nobody owes you anything. If you cave, do you know why you caved? Because you administered nicotine to your body in the form of a nasty ass dip or cancer stick. Nobody let you down except yourself.
That said, when you post roll and successfully complete a +1 EDD, that is also your accomplishment. Nobody can take that away from you. Quit on.