2018 HOF Speeches

Currecp HOF Speech – Enjoy the Struggle, Freedom Is Worth It

KTC Logo Green YellowI’m 34 years old and dipped about a half can of Grizzly per day from ages 18 – Oct 16 2017.

As a man who overcame a childhood stutter, alcoholism, drug addiction, and many other obstacles, I always prided myself on my discipline and facing fears. The only problem was… I knew my dip habit was getting worse….was going to eventually kill or disfigure me… and I could never quit.

One day I decided I had had enough and was going to give it an honest shot. The problem was…I did not know anyone who really dipped. I was alone in this and had no idea what to expect. Finding KTC was a blessing in that there were people in the same boat as me and people who overcame the addiction; just like AA helped me overcome drug addiction. I finally had support and accountability.

Here is how my quit went:
Days 1-30: Fog, extreme anxiety, suicidal hypochondria (I was convinced I had cancer regardless of what doctors told me). I later learned that this was a side effect of anxiety and that it was common amongst quitters. Regardless, this was arguably the hardest 30 days of my life.

I survived this period through: light medication, fake dip and talking to 1-3 quitters per day. I could not have done it alone.

Days 30-70:
This period was filled with constant need for oral fixation and just missing the act of dipping. I basically had to relearn how to do every life activity without chaw. Driving, working, watching football and post-workouts were the main triggers.

I survived this period simply by venting to fellow quitters. Talking about how much I missed dipping and my triggers while hearing someone else vent the same complaints really works like magic. If you won’t cave, what gives me the right to cave?

Days 70-111 (present)
I am becoming accustomed to life without dip and even needing less oral fixation. I finally believe that there is a chance that I won’t die with tobacco juice in my mouth and that is worth all the bullshit we go through.

This addiction is pure hell, you are not alone, anxiety WILL go away. If you ever need to talk, call anytime. I would still be hooked on this shit if it weren’t for you guys.

Thank you all,

Chris

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Currecp

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One Comment

  1. When you were battling the hypochondria, did you feel things that were out of the ordinary in your mouth? I’ve had 2 dentist visits and they’ve looked very closely in my mouth and have said, twice, that absolutely nothing looks alarming or concerning at all. Should be enough to ease your mind right?

    Nevertheless, I’ll still feel something weird in my mouth or on my tongue and then I constantly lick, bite at, rake my teeth across those spots and get the whole area irritated haha. Wondering if you dealt with this??

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