My Journey – njohns23 HOF Speech

njohns23 avatarToday I join the HOF as I board the train I think it is important to look back at the journey that has brought me to this point. I was your prototypical Ninja dipper. I would make up reasons to be by myself or make unnecessary trips to the store just to have a dip and the worst part was I tried to keep is a secret from everyone that was close to me. January 26th I decided that I was going to quit chewing yet again, like the many times before I dumped what I had left in my can as I left work. The thing that I did next was different this time around I googled “Quitting Chew” first place to pop up was KTC. I signed up and began to look around, I knew right away that this was the place for me. The next morning, I came back to the site and I began to write my Introduction, I hit send and immediately felt like I had made the right decision, but then something happened people started to respond, jpfabel1073 was the first but not the last, the next few hours were filled with messages of support “Roll call bro, it’s the only cost of entry.” -Thumblewort. “Get over to the May 16 quit group and post that day 1. It will be a wild ride, so buckle up.” – PatrickG

Like many my first roll was a bit of a process, took me till 7pm that night to figure it out but got it done. After reading some posts and stories I knew that if I was going to make this work I needed to give it my all and be completely open and honest about the fact that I was an addict, I was tired of lying to myself and my family, I was a better person than that, a better husband than that and a better father than that. I began to reach out to others and soon began communicating with both Jonathan “Kramer” and John “jpfabel1073”. Having someone to reach out to and be able to have them understand what I was going through was truly amazing.

Over the course of the next few weeks I would post my small steps. Going to the gas station and just paying at the pump, driving past places where I would normally go into buy a can and finally facing the “Wall.” For as small of accomplishments as these seemed they were a huge part of me beating away at my addiction. Every time I would post up one of my victories I thought I would get a “like” or a good job, but I soon was getting text about how proud people were of what I was doing and it made my quit that much stronger. I started going out of my comfort zone and telling people around me what I was doing and why, I even went as far as to tell a fellow co-worker that chews “I just quit and if I ever ask you for one dip kick me square in the nuts THEN tell me NO”

From there I started to post as much as I could to offer my support to others. But then one day the strangest thing happened. I noticed I hadn’t seen someone post and it was getting late in the day, so like normal I sent a text trying to see if I could track this late poster down, what happened next I did not expect, my fucking phone rang, not a text message but a phone call. Jonathan “Kramer” called me, I honestly just starred at my phone for a second, when I finally picked up the phone I probably sounded like a teenage boy talking to a girl for the first time, “uh hello”. After that awkward moment on my part we chatted for about ten min and then at the end of our conversation I got the text about why there was going to be a late roll post. Shortly after that day I received a text from a fellow May Quitter Texasyeti, I decided what the hell I’m going to just call the dude back. And from there I became as Moddyd says “The Phone WHORE”

As I started to share my digits with more members of May I began to form closer bonds with some of my brothers in quit one that stands out is Nate Nobling84. After trading texts on and off me and Nate chatted on the phone for about 15 min one afternoon and since then has always been one person I could reach out when I was having a crappy day. I even got a chance to have a quit together with Danny “Davalin” We met for about 10 min chatted, shook hands and took a pic for proof of our parking lot meeting.

From here my story goes in so many ways that it would take me till day 200 to share. But in days 65 – the present I have had good days, I have had shitty days, I have had days that I thought why the hell am I posting, or I don’t want to post roll today. But the thing that always keeps me coming back and posting EDD is simple, 100 days ago I made a promise to myself that this time I am quitting for me, I am quitting because I want to be quit. I started posting roll thinking it was weird to be promising a bunch of strangers that I wasn’t going to use Nicotine for 24 hours, but after a while and more importantly today I realized that I am not posting my promise to strangers I am posting my promise to my friends, my brothers and sisters in quit. As I find my seat on the HOF train and listen to the whistle blow on our way to pick up our next BAD ASS QUITTER I want to say thank you to each and every one of you for all that you have done for me, I hope that I have been able to help all of you as much as you have helped me. I quit with all of you one day at a time!!!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member njohns23

Bookmark the permalink.

One Comment

  1. Very nice brotha! Glad to be quit with you.

Leave a Reply