Quit For Yourself!

byebyegrizz avatarI reached the hall of fame on the 3rd anniversary of my Dad’s death. He was the one who pushed me the most to quit chewing. Why didn’t I listed to this man who I loved and respected so much. Even watching him waste away from the ravages of cancer didn’t make me quit. It’s not that I didn’t try to quit a thousand times, I just never had my mind right (I needed to quit for me). This is one of the many important concepts that this site has opened my eyes to.

I started chewing just out of high school. I loved baseball, country music, and cowboy movies and there seemed to be the common thread of chewing tobacco. I guess I started because I thought it was cool (HA HA!). Started with the long leaf plugs and graduated to kodiak and grizzly. They really had a hold on me. I am truly an addict. When I didn’t have a dip in I was thinking about when I could get my next fix. This is nicotine not heroin (Ha Ha!). I chewed 2 to 3 cans a week and had one in if I wasn’t sleeping, eating, or at work. My life revolved around nicotine and I missed so much because of it. The last 20 years of my life was not really me, it was a coward who only thought of himself. I’ve been married to a wonderful girl for 12 years and have 3 beautiful children. I just hate to think about how much more I could’ve given if it wasn’t for this nasty addiction. Nicotine has cheated me out of so many things, but no more.

The past 3 months have been very different for me. Yes the first week was hell for me. I just wanted to stay in bed in my cold sweat and fog. Work was difficult but not impossible. I had some dip dreams that were so real I had to get up an brush my teeth. But it slowly got easier! I was getting my life back. I was changing as a husband, father, and person. I remembered this laid-back person who thought about others first and I was becoming that again. Nicotine made me uptight, nervous, and selfish. I haven’t been very vocal on this site, but I have posted roll daily and given my promise. That promise has been a key to my quit. I am quitting for me, and I have given my word to quit today. Thanks to all my quit brothers, supporters, and to Almighty God. This site is amazing and I couldn’t have come this far without it.

Today is my daughters 11th birthday, and although I’d like to say this quit is the perfect gift, I can’t because “I quit for ME”. I guess I am still selfish?

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member byebyegrizz

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