I’m writing this on day 374. I did not write a HOF speech at Day 100 like normal. Perhaps I was still a little foggy and wanted the words to be perfect. Perhaps writing a speech meant I was fully invested – if I wrote a speech, I could never return to nicotine after admitting I’m an addict and acknowledging that we are all better off without it. I would be a hypocrite if I ever used again after giving my word to my brothers and sisters in this community.
I don’t think in absolutes like that anymore. I simply take nicotine off the table each morning. A year later, and it still works for me. The question always comes up: when do I stop posting? I acknowledge that this is different for each person. I said I would reevaluate after my HOF. I certainly was not ready to leave KTC then. So I set the next goal at 200. Again, not ready. I set the next goal at 365. I’m still not there yet. I dipped for about 11 years. It was part of my life, my routines, and me. It absolutely owned me. My next goal is 730, then a comma after that. Ultimately, I have a long term goal to post until 4,015, which is when the quit days will match the dip days, and then I will reevaluate from there.
It really is amazing how this community works. I am very grateful to KTC and everyone that has supported me along the way. I am proud to quit every day with the Traumatizers of August 2016. So many in that group have given so much back to this community and have been rocks for me in my own quit. I find that my involvement has its ups and downs, but I contribute when I can.
If you are thinking about quitting and reading this, just do it. You might have a dip in right now – throw it out and post roll. I did not have a high confidence level when I quit. The lady and I had an argument, and she called me out on my dip addiction. I came to KTC on day 3 to quit for someone else, but early on, just from hanging around here and reading, I made the quit my own.
If I were to have written a HOF speech at Day 100, it would have sounded exactly like KingNothing’s Speech. That is the speech that resonated with me and helped me immensely in my quit. Check that one out.
Make your promise early every damn day. Keep your word. Stop being a slave to nicotine. Take back your freedom.