To The Underdogs
I wanted to start off by giving an intro because at the time of me joining KTC, I was already in a fog and didn’t or couldn’t seem to write a real intro. I started using nicotine when I was about 14, I was out riding dirt bikes with a bunch of friends on one of their farms. One of my buddy’s stole packs of Marlboro Reds from his dad all the time and this occasion was no different for him, but for me it would be life changing…He asked and I accepted and that was the first time I ever felt that buzz and I loved it. I also almost coughed my entire lung up on the first hit and until the buzz kicked In I couldn’t figure out why people would ever smoke. Anyways, that one turned into another, and then another and then me and my other 14 year old buddy would give money to one of the parents of another buddy and they would buy us packs and we would split them until that wasn’t enough for us and then I started buying my own packs… It was hard to hide the smell of the smoke from my parents because they didn’t smoke so I started looking for other ways to get that buzz. I heard about chew and It sounded perfect, I worked at a gas station at the time as a stock boy and decided to have a friend buy me a can and give it to me out back. I picked out Skoal Apple and took it home to my room, shoved my face full of it and buzzed like I have never felt! The problem was I forgot to spit and swallowed that shit.. ran to the bathroom threw up and said screw this shit, I will never do this again… My mom was actually burning a green apple candle in the house that day and that smell really reinforced the point! So back to smoking I went for about 7 years…
Fast forward to the Navy life. When your stationed on a Aircraft carrier sometimes there are drills that close down the smoking area making it very hard to get your fix unless you know someone that will take you to the higher ups smoke pit to make it happen. So here I am on a time crunch most of the deployments and not having time to figure out if the smoke pit was open or closed I realized quick I could dip all the time. I could dip while turning wrenches on jets, dip while I was in my bed watching movies on my laptop etc, without having to go to the smokepit, wait in line etc.. This was great, dip was awesome, I started chewing Grizzly wintergreen long cut and never looked back… I chewed and smoked both for the rest of deployment but when I got home I quit dipping again and only smoked. That lasted a little while and I decided I was going to quit nicotine, And I did awesome at it! I quit for 9 full months, put my wife through hell, raged all the time and chewed nicotine gum like it owed me money… My wife told me that, that was my only time I could talk to her that way and that if I started again I wasn’t putting her through it again, and I agreed.
Fast forward again, I had a buddy who was getting ready to move out of state and sold his house and needed a place to crash for a few weeks. Trying to be a good Christian and friend I invited him to stay at my place. I knew he had a drinking problem but that was on him to figure out… He also chewed full time. Well I started drinking with him because nobody likes to drink alone, except he lived at my house and we did this every night.. he was turning me into a damn alcoholic! Well one night we were a bottle of scotch in, the wife went to bed and I had an idiot attack… I asked to bum a chew and he gave me one, and just like that I was re-hooked… The buzz was there and it was awesome! The next day I bought a can on the way home and hid it on top of my cabinets in the kitchen, (my wife is like 5′ 3″) That should of been a red flag in its self that I was hiding it… I hid it well to, for about 2 months, until one night I forgot to make sure it went down the toilet and a bunch of loose chew was floating in the there when the wife went in the next morning… Well wouldn’t you know that flung the door wide open on my hiding it! I explained my case, she thought I was an idiot even though she wouldn’t say it, she reminded me of when your parents tell you they are not mad they are disappointed. I hated myself for letting her down and even lying to her about it. But did I stop? If you guessed no you would be correct. She knew now so I didn’t have to hide it, I could do it any time of day now. This escalated very quickly to almost 2 cans a day…
Fast forward again, I got out of the Navy and moved my family back to Michigan. We moved in with my parents while we got on our feet and my parents have never known that I dipped, (they caught me smoking a couple of times and lost their minds when I was under age) I was back to hiding it, I took extra long in the bathroom, long showers etc… I remember sitting there one day on the toilet with a dip in (my phone died) and I was staring at the wall thinking wow this is pathetic… I wanted to quit but couldn’t, I told myself once we bought our own house I would… a few more times of what I now know as “Ninja Dipping” and I started thinking I don’t need to wait I need to do this soon. I asked Google how to quit dip and found KTC and completely ignored everything I read, thinking to myself that I don’t need this goofy ass site to quit… I went almost 4 days before my cravings were unbearable, I jumped back on KTC and I hit up the live chat and just read as people typed, I remember thinking that these people were nuts, Well TonyDaQuitter just happened to be in chat and said what’s up to me, he told me that there was a new group started in the forums for April and that I needed to post roll, Now I knew these people were insane! But that sparked my curiosity and I started reading more and more of the site and decided what the hell do I have to lose… I jumped in and posted roll.
Fast forward again (last time), here I am at 100 days… There is so much good that I could say about this site, It works! It works because it proves that you are not alone in this fight! It works because It holds you accountable! It works because people like MNxEngineer314 see me struggle and talk cars with me to keep me occupied. Every time that I thought about caving or walking away from this site someone would message me, text me,or put my name in at the bottom of roll supporting me. I realized that these people actually care about me, a total stranger… The group of guys in the April roll wrecking underdog fools are awesome! I owe them my life, and no words can describe how thankful I am for having them as a support group.
To the lurkers and people that are not sure that this site is for them, Please I am actually begging you to jump in head first! Do what the site says to do, At a minimum post roll every day and do not dip, and for some reason it works better than any other product, pill, patch, gum, etc, out there. Wake up, Piss, Post! easy as that. What do you have to lose? My goal now is to give back to the newer guys like the vets gave to me. I have been keeping tabs on one guy so far and I am proud of him beyond words! Chiefbp you got this brother! Im looking forward to reading your HOF in 41 days!
Last part I promise!
I want to thank personally
TonyDaQuiter for getting me in here
MNxEngineer314 for keeping me sane
Airborne for providing never ending entertainment and stirring up shit with the hall monitors!
Batdad, Samrs, Brian G, and Im sure I am missing names… For keeping our group tidy and organized!
This is only 100, there are many many more to go! ODAAT!! EDD!!!
The beginning is over, now the hard part begins! The only easy day was yesterday!
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Anthony.