Use Your Tools – They Can Save You

Mike_Land avatar894 days quit and still the nic bitch lingers, waiting to pounce when I am weak. I’ve been cruising along lately. No craves, dip dreams or otherwise bad moments. But over the last couple of weeks it has been bad. I got to reading some post and it seems I may not be the only one. Apparently around the comma mark is a bad time for a funk. I know there have been times the past couple of weeks that felt like my first week quit. I had craves and dreams and one bad episode this past weekend at a wedding. Twice this week I’ve had the sort of dip dream that wakes you up in a cold sweat and short of breath wondering if you have really caved. I had a bad moment this weekend that is a little funny now but sure wasn’t very funny when it was happening.

My daughters were in the wedding of the oldest daughters best friend. It was a good time. Lots of good food, good friends and an open bar. I took full advantage of the open bar. Having to make a trip to the restroom I discovered a big fat cat turd in the urinal. No! I didn’t dig it out but it did mess with my head. I was a RedSeal wintergreen user and that turd smelled like it hadn’t been out of the can very long. The wintergreen smell was powerful and messed with my head something fierce. For a while there I really thought about just chucking it all and going and finding me some dip.

But I didn’t. I did what I’ve learned to do in moments like that. I reached out. Bigwhitebeast came through. So did my March Brother Halldogau and some others. The crisis was soon over and back to the party I went. Don’t ever be afraid to reach out. it doesn’t mean you are weak. This is how we survive. Whether you have been quit 1 week or 1000 weeks, the old hag will always be waiting around the corner. Keep your numbers handy. You never know when you might need them.

Thanks for being there guys.

Mike

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Mike_Land

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One Comment

  1. Thanks for writing this.
    I’m one week clean and ready to sabotage big time.

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