Day 140 thoughts:
Been a while since I posted one of these…
I’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster lately. It seems like on many fronts our family operates from a sense of guilt: “You have to practice trumpet because you haven’t practiced enough this week” or “I’m too fat because I eat and drink too much” or “We need date night because we haven’t made enough time for each other”. It seems like we’re doing things mostly because we feel like we’re not good enough in those areas, instead of appreciating where we are and looking forward to building on them.
This got me thinking about the Wine Mixer and what we’ve been through. Most of us came at this from a sense of profound guilt at what we’d been doing to ourselves and our families for the past decade or two or three. And that’s very valid guilt. But many of us also felt like pieces of shit because of it and other stuff. This quit has given us at least one rock that we can build on. Maybe we’ve gained weight, maybe quitting set us back at work, or challenged our marriages, or whatever, but this one achievement is something we can be proud of. We fought for it, we earned it, and we helped others along the way.
I think it’s important for us to realize that WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE. Focus on the good aspects of who you are and what you do, and build on it because you’re looking forward to the goal, rather than doing stuff because you’re “not good enough”. From my three examples above:
- “You’ve come a long way on trumpet – with a little more practice you could totally nail this song.”
- “I’m 30 pounds over my ideal weight but otherwise healthy. It could be a lot worse. I’d love to fit into most of my pants again.”
- “We should go on date night because you’re awesome and it would be a lot of fun.”
- (Bonus): “I’m going to post roll because I’ve earned it and it helps me and everyone else in the FCWM.”
A couple of examples from this group:
- Lumber just started his own business which I hear is going really well. He’s stressed as hell because of his awesome new adventure, which took balls of steel to pursue.
- Josh has been working his ass off lately. I’m sure it was exhausting and he might have hated it at times, but he kept the lights on for a lot of folks who needed it. He’s a driving force in this group and is keeping us honest. He’s kicking ass at life with hard work and passion.
We all have strengths like this. We all need to step back and realize that we’re awesome, and look at all the different areas of our lives through that lens. We should improve ourselves because we want to, not because we feel like we suck. I’m challenging you all to think about why you’re a badass and temporarily shut down the voice that’s telling you you’re not good enough. Find a way to change your thinking about your goals to make them something you REALLY WANT.
Good night, you bunch of sick-ass rock stars.