So here I am, just posted roll on my 100th day in January 2014. I am excited but, I am also disappointed. You see this is not the first time I’ve reached 100 days quit, I am a caver.
My first journey on the HOF train came in March 2013, I had made it. I quit the “bitch” in December 2012 and made 100 so “hey, I am good to go, I don’t need to be held accountable any longer” at least that’s what I thought. I did well at first, an occasional crave but nothing I couldn’t handle, that shit sucked! Why on earth would I put it in my system again? Then came “stress”. “Hey you know you have a pretty good gig going on here in your hometown and all. Working for the Post Office, yep you’ve really got it made. But uh, you know, we are closing this processing plant down and if you want to keep your job, you’re gonna have to move 130 miles south to a town you know shit about.” said the PMG. So my family and I starting looking for a house, still no big deal, I’m hanging tough.
Fast forward to August 16, 2013, the day of our big move. I had just the previous day signed my life away on our new home (man the paper work involved there). And now my family and friends were packing the last of my earthly belongings into 3 trucks, trailers, and U-hauls, and the convoy would be on the way to our new town. Just then, and I will never blame him, my best friend who still dipped put a big ole “turd” in his lip. I at first didn’t think anything of it I mean over the last 8 months I’ve witnessed numerous guys do that and even got one to join me in quit! But then that old familiar voice creeped up from behind, “hey baby, you know I can make you feel better, remember? I can ease those nerves as you lead this convoy down the road. You can just relax, and let me handle the hard stuff.” said “the nic bitch”.
Needless to say she had me, for the next 11 months. I finally came to my senses and came back in to KTC, where I was not “welcomed with open arms” shall we say. That “bitch” was still fighting to hold me to her bosom, I was cocky and just strolled in and posted roll in a new group, went said “hey sorry” to my old group, and never once stopped to answer 3 big questions that needed to be addressed:
- What happened?
- What will be different this time?
- How can you be trusted?
I know now that answering these was not for the benefit of those who were picking on me ( they weren’t really but thats how the “bitch” made it feel), but it was for me. Now I know how to better guard myself when she whispers in my ear, I know that I can’t walk away after 100 days, that I need the accountably found on KTC, and I can’t be trusted without remembering that, because alone, I will fail.
So I urge you if you’re reading this, no matter what day you’re on, keep that guard up and stay accountable! Drop me a message let me know if you want to keep me held to my promise and have me help you. This may not be the best HOF speech, but it’s the truth to my quit, and for the record had I not caved, today would have been day 741. Don’t give up, everyone LOVES a quitter. LLAP, EDD, QLF- David Earnest aka “Jake72”