I began dipping in the summer of 1997, during a fishing trip with my buddies. I took that first pinch and told myself that once the summer was over, I’d quit. I knew what I was getting into. I knew fully the type of shit that I was putting into my body. But I was smarter than that, I was stronger than that. I wasn’t going to get addicted. It was just for fun.
So, I spent the next 15 years as a slave to my nicotine addiction. I don’t regret it. It may seem shocking for me to say that, but I don’t. I was lucky. I came through my brush with that shit relatively healthy. Every decision that I have made in my lifetime has brought me to where I am today. Dip was no exception. This process has taught me three very important things.
My time quitting has brought me to depths of despair that I could never have imagined. It has shown me the strength that I needed to crawl out of that. I have learned the strength to tell my addiction, “Fuck you. I’m done. You’ve lost.”
Secondly, my time quitting has taught me a deeper faith in God. After a disasterous attempt to quit (unaided) in early July, I literally begged God for help. I was so afraid of those first 3 days that I was unwilling to face them alone. On my second day of quitting, I was looking for answer to when my misery would end and up popped a link to this site. Five minutes later I signed up and I was on my way. I know that it was no concidence that I ended up here. Although I still needed to walk the path, God brought me to a place where I wouldn’t have to walk it alone.
Lastly (and just as importantly), I found that there are people in this world who may never see my face or hear my voice, but care more about my quit than even my closest of friends. This site was my miracle. You guys (and gals) were the angels on my shoulder. Thanks to Wedge, 30yrAddict, wt57, Mthomas, Swede and Roamcountry for making me feel like I had found a home here. Special thanks to SirDerek for being there and encouraging me to get through the late term blahs. Also, very special thanks to RebelDog for the adoption and being an ever-present reminder that failure was not an option.
I am proud to be a member of the Rocktober Madmen and I’m looking forward to reaching the next floor alongside them. As Homer Simpson once said, “Come on [Lisa]…we can’t have gone this far and not go further.”