Learning To Be a Man After a Decade of Addiction

You Are In ControlI’m 52 days in, so take what I say with a grain of salt. There are quitters here who are way more baddass than I. I’m 27 years old. I’ve been a nicotine addict since I was 18. That’s almost a decade of addiction, and I’m not even 30 yet. You know what made me finally quit? Realizing that I’m an effing addict. Dip isn’t a bad habit. It’s an addiction. I have an addiction. I’m an addict. You know what helps people with addiction? Admitting it. Finding help. Committing to one day at a time. Finding accountability. Alcoholics have AA, and it seems to work pretty damn well. We have KTC. 

I’m writing this tonight because I don’t have dip cravings any more. I don’t even want the stuff. By the time I quit, I hated dip; I just couldn’t do anything about it…or so I thought. But, ultimately, who is the one buying dip? Me. The “stressful day” isn’t buying the can. The “annoying person” isn’t buying the can. I’m buying the can because I’m weak. KTC gives me the kick in the ass to not be weak. I’m writing this because I still feel physically terrible. My temper is crazy. The FOG is still there every damn day. But, I’m in control of my effing life. I buy what I WANT to buy, not what my addiction tells me to buy (2 cans a day, give or take). The downside is that I have to learn how to be an adult man for the first time. There’s no dip to help me “unwind” after a long day. There’s no nicotine to help me “cool down” after a stressful situation. There’s only me, and my choice to be VIRTUOUS or NOT. 

If you’re reading this with a big ol’ chaw in, listen here. If you REALLY want to quit, you can. If you don’t want to quit, I’ve got no beef with you. Enjoy Cope or Griz or whatever. It’s your life. But, If you want to quit but you feel like you can’t, dump that shiz out RIGHT NOW and post your day 1. I’m a man of my word, and my promise to my group is the only thing that has kept me quit for 52 days. I’ll see you at 100 on my HoF induction day. There’s no doubt in my mind. I wanna see YOU too.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member jedi1991

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