This is my HOF speech….
I am not the most active member on this site but I know my quit is as strong as Arnold’s back in Conan the Barbarian. Let us take a look back at my first 100 days…
I quit on 11/13/2011. My wife and daughter were visiting a friend in Virginia so I was in church with just my son. The message that day was the worshiping of other idols. I sat there and thought about who or what did I worship over God and the only thing I could think of was the can. I went to the airport to pick up my wife and just decided to quit at that moment. I still can visualize pulling that last chew out of my mouth at 4:35 p.m. After 20 years of chewing, I was done.
My whole life I considered myself a Winner, a guy who never gave up, never lost the war. The can was the exception. I tried countless times to quit for 24 hours. I would chew like a madman and then quit before I would go to bed. I would get eight hours under my belt but not much more. I would go on trips and purposely not bring chew thinking I would have to quit. I found myself onetime walking 3 miles in the rain to a Wal-Mart to find a can when I was staying at Chicopee MA. Loser! I took a cruise with my wife. I quite for seven days! I got off of the ship and bought a can. Loser.
My story is probably like many of you. I started chewing when I was around 15. I remember I was hanging out with some friends and they wanted to smoke. Both my parents smoked and I thought it was disgusting. So to be “cool” I said I chewed and we found some guy to buy us our stuff. I remember putting the first pinch of cope under my lip. It didn’t last long. I started to sweat and the things started to spin and I yakked all over main street. My excuses was I must have swallowed some juice. Should have learned my lesson? Peer pressure is a bitch and I continued to try to chew and I continued to get sick. Then something changed. I didn’t get sick and actually felt good…I was hooked.
I turned 35 on 11/29. I joined the KTC site around that time. I was in such a fog I didn’t know what was going on. I thought I was posting roll but I was screwing it up every day for about two weeks. Everyone was getting pissed off but I didn’t even know what I was doing wrong. Mcarmo44 was a jerk. He called me out in late December. Finally in early January the fog lifted and I got it. I stumbled in this site and fumbled around in the fog but I followed what you hear over and over..
- Post Roll in the morning
Simple but it is what is needed to get you past the early stages.
A list of 10 things that have changed in my life over the past 100 days:
- No longer buying a soda or coffee and dumping them out so I can have a spitter.
- No longer throwing my can in the trash before going to bed and then waking up and digging the can out of the trash.
- No longer blaming my arguments with my wife as to the reason I chew.
- No longer needing to throw a chew in before any life event. During my wife’s labor I ran to the bathroom to put a fatty in.
- No longer saying I need a chew because I am nervous, excited, bored, ect…
- No longer my family accidently drinking my spitters. My wife and son both have in the past. Wife still talks about it.
- No longer driving late and night and scraping together a few bucks to get a can so I can have it in the morning.
- No longer staying up late needing my time (chew time). Now I go to bed with my wife
- No longer trying to read a book to my kids at night and hold spit in until I need to take a break and go spit in sink
- No longer the risk of mouth cancer….hey I like my jaw!
I have gone through an amazing transformation. I used to wake up in the morning and think about my first chew (my favorite one). Now I wake up and think about posting roll. Thank you to all, especially to my FU brothers. Mcarmo44 is a BAMF and I am proud to call him my quit brother. Go ahead and put me on the commitment to post roll to day 200. Piss on it, put me on the list to post roll to day 365 and beyond!!!
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member zandrew58