I wrote this to a noob repeat caver in the intro thread but it is such a good analogy I wanted to make sure you guys saw it. I wish I could find the original post and give that quitter credit but as best I can remember I have re written it below.
One of my favorite threads here was a discussion on pickles vs cucumbers.
At one time you and I were cucumbers. We could come and go as we pleased and have a chew or a smoke or dip with no lasting effects or urge to go out and chew a can a minute.We were free. At some point addiction crept in, we became pickles, junkies, slaves. No different than a crack addict. Lying to ourselves and others about the depth of our addiction. Giving up relationships, health, life itself to feed our habit. Stupid pickles. ‘bang head’
Now, a Cucumber can always turn into a pickle but a pickle can never go back to being a cucumber.
We are addicts , there is no more ” normal” there is no more coming and going or dabbling with nicotine. You have to admit the fact that you’re a pickle. Until you absorb that reality, you will keep pretending you can fool with nicotine, you’ll continue to fail because you refuse to believe you’re not still a cucumber . The fallacy of just one. The lie you tell yourself about being cured. The millions of reasons you’re craving little addict mind manufactures to make you believe you can still play with fire and not get hooked. Sorry Charlie, you can’t go back, this shit is forever. Pickles don’t turn back into cucumbers.
You need to remind yourself of this fact daily. The site does that for me and can for you as well. Posting roll is a daily reminder to look at your life from the point of view of an addict ( pickle) . Do this and you will stay quit. The second you start believing you’re a cucumber (normal) again your back at day one.
be the ball Danny or in your case ….. be the pickle knuckledragger …er kneedragger
781 days of reminding myself I’m still a stupid pickle, one day at a time.