2014 HOF Speeches

What is a Truly ‘Unbreakable’ Quit?

pr0f avatarHOF…

Fuck… HOF… What the shit… I gotta write something super clever to change people’s quit perspectives.

News….Fucking….Flash…. This shit works… It’s always worked… And always will work. Nothing clever needs to be said.

Take your untested quit prospective and read through everything KTC tells you will work……. And…… yes… it will work.

Check out this tool:

“Tardfly”

I’ve thrown in my roll call. It’ll be tough to do it daily only because I get distracted easily and when I’m not at work (Enterprise Technology) I tend to try to keep away from the computer as much as possible. But I’ll roll call week days I’m sure.

The wife is all about the quit – I’ll send her that link so we can talk about it tonight.

While I’m not a professor by trade… It’s a nickname for various reasons. Ironically enough I DO enjoy a pipe here and there with some really good tobacco. While I don’t inhale it, some nicotine is bound to get into my system, so as much as it pains me – I’m not doing it while I quit dip. I may never do it again (I only do it on special occasions anyway so It’s not like I’m heating the pipe weekly even).

“I’m not doing it while I quit dip” (the pipe)
“Tough to do it daily”
“I MAY never do it again”

WHAT A TOOL BAG!!! Who the fuck is this guy thinking he’s quitting?!?!…. Ahhhhh Shit… it’s me… blast it all!

What did I do to these guys telling me I didn’t know shit about dick-all about quitting? Did I posture? Did I respond to their PMs with “FUCK YOU I’LL QUIT THE WAY I WANT?”

No…. After a pure fail of an introduction, I took what all the vets had to say (Some not so pleasant) and I decided I infact… did not… no shit… about quitting.

So you might ask as a young quitter: “Well tell me oh might master of quit…. What the fuck do I do to have a masterful successful quit?!?!?!”

1) I’ll let you know when I get there (ask the likes of Rkymtnman or Wastepanel – huge inspirations for me with super incredible quit days… These guys are quit for good and you KNOW IT)
2) What do I do for now? Glad you asked… you should do the same.. And I say this with 100% absolute seriousness.
A) Find quitters in your group that will help you to the next level. Guys that are quitting hard like you and posting often. Make friends…. SHARE NUMBERS (for fuck sake you’ll see a pattern here… Share numbers….)
B) Find badass hardcore veteran quitters (that seem to “jive with you”) that will take you to the next level that have already been through the shit.
I had SMEDs as an early texting buddy because he was hardcore but kind, and willing to help and mentor. Then I found my real life doppleganger Rtkmtnman, then I added more and more and more vets to my web of quit and it seemed I was invincible. (then I found a weird ass mad scientist / chemist named Candoit and soon after became a gluten for punishment and added LIPI but that’s another story.)

The point is I learned the dirtily little trough that the mic bitch will never allow you to hear under her rule: You CAN make it impossible to cave. It’s true. Sounds weird I know.

“BUT PROF!!! SOME GUYS THAT WERE HARDCORE TOTALLY CAVED!! IT’S TRUE”

To that I’d respond “No… Some guys that SEEMED hardcore caved……”

Here is the secret formula…. (not so secret unless you’re retarded)… You ACTUALLY and TRULY and FULLY get both Vets and fellow quit brothers your number and allow them to insert themselves into your daily life. You don’t just text them when you’re about to cave… That’s dumb (although it may work once or twice)… You text them often. Maybe not all of them every day, or even every week. (when you build a quit web like mine, it’s tough to keep up with everyone that has been so gracious to help you) But you keep in touch. Send out holiday greetings via text. Update with travel plans to the areas where your quit buddies live (real live meets EXPONENTIALLY skyrocket quits!!!)… I digress!!! I knew I typing this drunk would encourage rambling!

What happens when you’ve done your quit “right”?

You’ll have created a web of quitters (read: accountability) so deep and so true and so important that caving, quite literally, (if you care about these men and what they’ve been through) makes it impossible to cave.

I know the Nic Bitch to this day does push ups in the parking lot thinking she can one day take me back, but I ALSO know that as I add and strengthen my quit relationships, I will always beat her.

For those that think close relationships here aren’t required: Fuck you go somewhere else
For those of you that think posting roll daily isn’t required : Fuck you, go somewhere else
For those of you that think you can do with a simple post and ghost: Fuck you, go somewhere else
For those of you unsure about anything – Read – Read – Read and reach out and make friends. It’s easier to cave to a bunch of wierdo internet guys then to friends. I have so many quit friends now that I very literally can’t envision a life where I use tobacco. I would loose too many friends in the process.

Thats it… That’s what it’s like… It’s like shooting your best friends in the face. You could never do it – The shear feeling of the thought nearly drives you mad. My quit has bee come so deep with so many good men that caving would be the equivalent to shooting each one of them in the face and then pissing on their corpses. They’re good men, so that will never happen… I know this. For I am strong with the quit.

Please excuse grammar and typos.. I wrote this drunk.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member pr0f

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