Its Killin Time For Nicotine

KillTheCan LogoI remember like it was yesterday, 1974, me and Dave climbed up in the seat of his dad’s 1970 Heavy Half C10. His dad, Coach, kept a case of Levi Garret chew in that seat as long as I could remember. We had saved our sandwich baggies from lunch and we each took a couple leaves of LG and saved them in our baggies. We hid the LG in Coaches truck for the next day. That was it, hooked and five years old. Before too long we were splitting a pouch of LG between us each week. Getting tobacco was easy back then, it wasn’t looked down upon, hell, there was a smoking and a dipping area for us in school. 

I’m much older now, 48, I never wanted to quit. I loved that can! My oldest boy took on the habit 5 years ago at 18 with his baseball teammates. I tried to tell him to stop, do as I say, not as I do right?! No, lead by example. I lied to my youngest ones and told them it was medicine that I needed. How long could I lie? My wife confessed that she didn’t ever want to kiss me because the thought of the tobacco grossed her out. This made me feel weak, and I’m not. I decided to come back to this site KTC. I had logged in several years before, but never quit! I wanted to think about trying to quit….. I had reduced my intake to about a quarter of a can a day, small pinch every 2 hours for 15 minutes. I got on the chat room and discussed my weak ass plan to ween myself off with the new can in my pocket. Then, I would quit and post to KTC. Dragon Reborn replied to my post and quickly let me know my plan would fail. He told me I didn’t want it (the quit). He said put down the can and quit right fucking now. I had just put in a pinch at 0245 hours, on 06-06-2017. I took it out at 0300 hours and posted roll and my promise. I carried that new can in my pocket every day until day 60 or so, and threw that trophy can away. 

It has been a rough few months, I took so much from these awesome guys on this site and stayed strong. My tough times were dealt to me in the way of separation and divorce, struggling with alcoholism, Hurricane Harvey flooding my son’s first home, family death, 2 auto wrecks, personal health issues and living through the hell Harvey dealt the poor people of Harris County as a first responder. I certainly was not the picture perfect quitter in the eyes of my peers within our grand saloon. I was proud to come up with the name of our group and think it’s the best one yet! 

I did not struggle from the nicotine, very few cravings past a few seconds. I struggled to see that the things I took from our saloon kept me on track, it kept me focused… it KEEPS me focused as I know this journey has just begun. This I have come to realize was my strength. 

I am proud to be here, quit with my September 2017 brothers, here at the Quittin’ Spittin’ Saloon!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Killin Time

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