Well, I think it’s time I finally put pen to paper…
Hang with me here for a bit because this is going to be long, but I need to get this out.
My name is bigrick_2u. What a dumb name. Foggy and not really caring about frivolous things like a username, that was the name I chose. Luckily, a good friend early on coined the nickname Brick, which is what I have gone by for the last few months here. This is my story.
For the past 140 days, I have posted roll on KTC, I have exchanged words of encouragement with quit brothers and sisters, and I have made my family proud.
Every. Single. Day.
My story is similar to so many here at KTC. I started dipping at a young age, eventually getting to where I rubbed about a can a day, some days more, all the while knowing I have to find a way to quit.
Grizzly Wintergreen Longcut.
Me and that grizzly bear made a lot of memories together, and I absolutely romanticized it in my mind. I felt like any small accomplishment was reason to celebrate with a big dip.
Shortly before my wife had our daughter (July ’17), I told her I was going to quit… that lasted about 24 hours. In the 13+ years of my addiction to snuff, I had never gone without nicotine for more than 24 hours. My wife hated my addiction. I hid it from her for most of our relationship, of course she caught me a thousand times… With my wife by my side, I’ve snuck dip into Central America, the Bahamas, Europe, and who can remember where else.
I work as an account manager for a polymer company. My job isn’t very friendly towards chew/dip/etc… another reason why I became very proficient at hiding. But that didn’t slow me down. I had a dip in from the moment I woke up, until I fell asleep (and often while sleeping). Always tired, always wondering when my next dip was…
October 11th, 2017, 11pm. My daughter is sick, my wife is awake comforting her, and I am washing dishes…. with a dip in. No one is going to sleep anytime soon.
My wife comes in the room and realizes that I’m rubbing snuff. She stomps out, crying. We’ve fought so much about this, what else is left to say? That’s when I made up my mind; I am done with this. For my family, for my marriage, for me. I have to be done with this.
I throw that can in the trash and casually tell my wife that I’m done with tobacco. In the past, I always made a bigger deal about quitting when we had these arguments, but this time was different. I knew it was real and didn’t require a dramatic presentation. I was done.
October 12th, 2017, on my drive to work, I find an old can with one last dip in it. Angry and restless about my decision, I throw it in. Five minutes later, I spit it out, disappointed in myself. I get to work. After a couple hours, I decide that at lunch, I am buying a can. Quitting was not going to be in the cards for me. The fog was already so heavy. I was so weak. Then I stumbled across KTC and changed my mind about buying that can.
I’ve met some incredible people.
Thank you BrianG for being one of the first people to reach out to me with your digits and encouragement. Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
Thank you Srains for being the first January guy to communicate with me and fill me in on how we do things. I’ve grown to love this guy and I really value everything you have to say. You are one of the smartest guys here, and I’ll walk beside you through fire.
Thank you CNC for being the first person to send me a message about what symptoms to expect and talking to me on day 1 about making a quit plan.
Thank you Probe for being the comedic relief I need everyday. You’ve helped my quit more than you know and I cherish our friendship.
Thank you Kyle for being an idiot.
Thank you Texas Chief for quitting with me everyday. I always look forward to posting my numbers next to yours.
Thank you Dan for always encouraging me when I need it most.
Thank you to The F.U.R.Y. Proud to quit beside
Samrs, Inkcoughkneedough, Wastepanel, SKol, RickB, JTL, and so many others that I chat with everyday, that I know, and that I am getting to know…
THANK YOU !!!
I could not have done this without you, and so many more that I’m sure I forgot to list. If I forgot you, you know who you are and I appreciate you.